Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize