did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
