why didn't you poke me back
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
