What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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