My liver just broke up with me...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
