it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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