The maid of honor just puked.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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