just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
