I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
