life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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