We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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