You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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