Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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