Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
