i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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