I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
