When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize