smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
