I cannot find my penis.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
