No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
