i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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