I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
