He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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