THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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