You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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