I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
