I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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