i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
