Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
