I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He kissed a someone with a penis
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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