I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
