i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
