hell yes lets make some ravioli
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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