me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize