You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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