so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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