so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
