watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
