He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
