Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
