You're so nebulous sometimes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
