im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
