You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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