yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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