Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.