Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
