Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.