sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people