It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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