i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
