Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize