Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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