Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
