i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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