The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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