Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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