I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
