I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have aggressive nipples.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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