If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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