I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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