i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.