There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
