Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have demons in me.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
