dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?