All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.