the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
