Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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  (614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something? http://tfl.nu/rkwq
  Replies (29) Good night (841) Bad night (3638)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  why does my vagina smell like weed?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg thats a great idea

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  (610): why does my vagina smell like weed? (215): omg thats a great idea http://tfl.nu/ft3y
  Replies (30) Good night (4435) Bad night (946)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4647) Bad night (912)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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  (757): tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning? http://tfl.nu/fo3m
  Replies (24) Good night (5372) Bad night (1150)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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  (701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h
  Replies (31) Good night (888) Bad night (8770)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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  (519): Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it. http://tfl.nu/0omt
  Replies (3) Good night (4022) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (2522)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up

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  (814): Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up http://tfl.nu/ova6
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?

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  (404): Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again? http://tfl.nu/8hv0
  Replies (7) Good night (2038) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?

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  (301): Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with? http://tfl.nu/cqjc
  Replies (18) Good night (463) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.

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  (314): I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/pv07
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (550)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.

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  (516): Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi. http://tfl.nu/3etm
  Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder

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  (918): I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder http://tfl.nu/ny3a
  Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours

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  (303): Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours http://tfl.nu/pdaj
  Replies (0) Good night (567) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.

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  (909): You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on. http://tfl.nu/y2xe
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (357)

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