You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
