We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
