i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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