I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
