i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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