No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
